My Cancer Story: NOT A PARODY
After all life is a but a series of parody...
I have finally come to the moment when I finally decided to come out with my cancer story. I have been casually blogging and vlogging about it but I didn't really come to the terms of finally putting it together in one single post. It's been a year now since I was diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer stage II. I was preliminary diagnosed with stage III. So, I had to do 6 cycles of chemotherapy and 3 rounds of brachytherapy. But they have to take out my uterus and my ovaries eventually. Well, to be honest when we went to see my doctor we were expecting a pregnant diagnosis. I was very positive I was pregnant since all the symptoms were there. But it turns out differently. So, my journey begins. Here, I have put together what was going through my head as I deal with the diagnosis..... ( and excuse the "brain farts" I was typing and posting through my phone in real time, so I didn't bother to edit any of it
Pre-Surgery Selfie
At The Hospital - A Parody
Apparently everyone's life has to move on in spite of me being sick.
Which i would totally totally agree. I told everyone to keep pace with their own lives and never worry about me. Well i worry about me i guess... everything is totally different back home... i mean being treated back home. Although i would totally tip my cap a million times to excellent doctors specially mine ;) but then the system totally can't keep pace with me. They stroll i run. So here i am in what they call nurse station next to a nurse who is literally brushing her teeth on the emergency room sink. And a doctor who is coughing like i am not the one dying here LOL! i can see my mom's disgust and yup the emergency brushing of the nurse's teeth is commencing at the moment.... okay so stop... i am wheeling to the xray... done. Xray people can't hear me calling they are reading my name on the record as if its kind of a mantra..hey guys sick person here and I am so wanna pee... thanks to mom who makes me drink welch every second as if it is a magic drink... it just makes me pee really...next stop blood people...done. back to the nurses' brushing station. LOL! By now i guess i have already gotten use to the needles and test i have learned to comply... okay i admit not really... i have gotten use to it...every time a routine was missed i ask about it... okay reminder to self stop being annoying. This is something they need to take control and not me.
No hair don't care ;) shave my head before chemo does it
Mom as faithful as she is tags along making sure i drink my welch. I love you mom. And well dad was at home making sure he get me all the exotic fruits and tuna i requested. Well... my family has been so helpful really... uncles and aunts who made me pass a couple of doctors fee here and there... in the philippines we call it connections i guess...but i call it kindness. In here there's a lot of waiting... but perhaps i stop to care about it now... time is all i ever wanted... honestly... i don't want to rush nor wait... next stop ECG... OH hello there machine... i don't know whether to cry or to laugh at it... do this thing really work... or electricute me to absolute death. But turns out i survive the lie detector machine ahahahhahaah. Oh good finanally they took their surgical mask off. For what seems to be eternity... i was talking to faceless people in white... you'd probably be consider above einstein genius if you understand half of what they are saying... all i hear was nguf nguf nguf ahhahhhahah. Okay stop... mom wants me to drink welch.
Moving on... okay stop... would you believe i am at the moment wheeling on the chair cuddling my suitcase...Speaking of total awkward... id rather walk really... this thing on my lap is hell heavy... but the guy just wheeled me off... like he is actually doing me a favor...
Call me the meanest sick person in the world but you can't blame me can you...i have to rant... at this moment right now a needle is fishing through my veins... after a nurse did a through and through insertion to supposedly attach me to this liquid thing... well i guess they thought i am for barbeque. LOL! and really not funny... and yup again the pre op instructions delivered through masked nurses.... really? all i heard again was ngufnguf nguf... oh well... i needed to be okay... and i guess i need to tolerate ...after all, what can be more painful than cancer itself... so bring it on girls... go fish... LOL!
Been two days since i got out of the operating room. And so far things are fine. I know ive been impatient and had so much to rant about but this time i stop focusing on my illness and started to focus on the goodness of the people around me people who are patient with me. And yes id like to consider myself bless because i have a team of wonderful people who take good care of me. My doctors who will do everything they can to save my life... my family and friends who treated me kindly not because I am sick but just the way they used to. To friends and family thanks for treating me not sick.
took a selfie before I had my first round of chemo
Chemo
Hi guys... been a few weeks since my last hospital episode. And I've been feeling good since then. And oh, don't get me wrong... being sick and feeling good don't usually hold hands but it is the last choice really or get eaten up with sadness. Well, I have days when I just let those tears fall down and ask the inevitable "why?" Oh well, I guess life is supposed to kick your ass (forgive the langauge...sick person talking) once in a while so you got to rise up like a hell of a hero or fall and become one of the gods.
Cancer is not funny but laughter is indeed the best medicine ;)
Well anyways, metaphor aside... this is what happened... who would have thought that a single visit to the doctor would change almost everything... this is what we sick people usually said...but it didn't really change it for me. It put my life into a STOP. "You got cancer" is definitely one you don't want to get in your mail...not in your million lifetime. But I guess I got drawn. I couldn't even remember how I felt that day. It was something unexpected of course... then I started counting years? Days? Minutes? Seconds? Or how much time do I really have? Then came all the statistics of survival... what side of it am I drawn into? I wasted no time... I thought I'd skip all the drama I get into business right away. And yes, believe it or not, I chose not to cry about it... I started to plan logistics, finances and "hiccups" right away. I got to survive this...and yes friends and family came along to take the journey with me each of them playing their roles which I will forever be thankful for.
Goofing around the neighborhood with my siblings
So, the journey began... as sad as I wanted to be... I just hold on to faith. After all the gazillion needle attacks, a "stab" in the belly which will always remind of my battle, and the prayer of hope from friends and family, here I stand await, keeping up with my favorite kardashian girls (what else can a sick person do?) ...and so ready for the next stop. Yup, chemo is just around the corner...and better be up and running on a hat shopping spree... and yup, partly one of the reason I needed to get up early in the morning in spite surgery discomfort and "turtle walk" around the house to recover fast.
I lean to make hats
I needed those hats or werk the alien head... but seriously I don't intend to scare the kids at home. So, get me those hats or a sack over my head...LoL! ...and oh did I say I turned vegetarian too? Yup, I turned into a fish eating vegetarian...does it make sense? Oh well, I guess it just means I eat more veggies now than I usually do... and a lot of people... "experts" say it is a good thing. So I bet it is... ;)
Cancer is not contagious but a smile is.
Hey guys... well, thank spare time I am here but once again ;) aside from my routine visits to the doc I am pretty much doing nothing except keep up with my battle. Well, its almost been a month since I was diagnosed with advance endometrial cancer. What we thought was us pregnant turned to be just.... oh cancer.... and Well, here I am fighting for dear life. Perhaps one of the hardest thing I did was come out and be open about it. Not that I am too arrogant to admit I am sick but because I don't want to be the subject of sadness. But I have always bee around and I thougt in as much as i have enjoyed sharing the good life "the beautiful"... i also want to share what is real.
The crazy bunch.
The life we tend to usually shove under the covers ... because reality most often times are scary and sad... but yes we have to give credit to the good times and the courage to embrace what is painful. But really we always have the choice... we can still be happy... i am happy... well for one i wouldn't probably see my head, my bare scalp if it wasn't for it ;) well, I guess I have to keep it short for now... apparently I needed to sleep a lot these days....
Chemo vacay with my personal nurse/sissy
But really... I am still here because of the patience of the wonderful people that help me get through it. The hospital staff who stayed calm and kind and make sure that I manage just fine. My family who hoovers over me with love and so much patience and make sure that they "forget" I am sick. I know it was hard but thanks for letting me fight it on my own terms. Friends who keep me in their thoughts and prayers. BFFs from all over the world who never stopped checking on me 24/7 and sending love and inspiration. Friends and family who help us find the best treatments and the best doctors in the world ;) Thank you and I will always be here because of you. And after all, THERE IS LIFE AFTER CANCER.
0 comments