I Almost Forgot I had Cancer

by - April 07, 2015


Good Day! beautiful people! Happy Easter for yesterday (or the day before yesterday). Life had been good to us these past few days. And although there was nothing so "big" about our days, we are very thankful and happy that our family of three... husband/ryan, kodi and me sustained yet another week of ordinary ;)

Well, I do and will honestly say, that once again, the past few days I toss and turn in my sleep some nights, anxious of the future. Yes, partly because I am worried, but most of it because the future suddenly becomes so interesting again. Feels like I am suddenly jolted from a long coma. And by coma I mean, the fear of being sick again, of my life staring at a glass hour. And although, in as much as I wanted to live in the now and live a day at a time... I am starting to make plans. To see a purpose and I feel like after a long while of just waiting for another sunrise, I am starting to dream again. To live again. 

Our week was actually quite eventful to say... I did a couple of task here and there and made a lot of plans too. And yes, I am starting to feel like I am normal again. That a dreadful cloud had been lifted and I can see so much of me, my dreams and promises of a good life of days to come. But I always see to it that I cherish every moment I live a day being hopeful. Well, I can say that part of my healing comes from the lesson I learn from our little Kodi. You know what they say about dogs having no past and no future. They only live for the moment and it may be true that they don't have that much memory of sadness, hatred and regrets...  (I would really want to think it that way). Like Cesar Millan said, "Dogs live in the moment.They don't regret the past or worry about the future. If we can learn to appreciate in what's happening in the here and now, we will experience a richness or living that other members of the animal kingdom enjoy." 

Well, human lives are indeed more complicated than that. And that we may have to worry a little, dream a little, get anxious, get scared, and to try to live at the moment to be able to live. “Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” ― Louise ErdrichThe Painted Drum LP

P.S. On to my journey towards a healthy, frugal and clean lifestyle. For now, I have somehow found my balance. I can't really say I am a full on vegan since I do still have to include eggs and honey on my diet. But aside from that I haven't used or consume any other animal products for a while now and it feels so good. And although I admit that we are still hoarding some things contrary to being minimal (we still hang on to some things important to us. Like our precious books.) However, this month, I will be doing some "frugal experiments" and see if it will work of us. And of course I will be sharing it with you so please stay tune for more updates my beaugorgeous! Have a wonderful week ahead!







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