Weird Things People Say or Talk about you When you Have Cancer

Friday, October 21, 2016

Okay so I am back with another satirical random that life throws at you from time to time. Well, technically it is just about people who seemed to have no clue on what exactly others are going through and are just very, very, very generous with side comments that are not seemingly appropriate at all. And although it doesn't surprise me given that humans have all those extra ability, it is the fact of how unbecoming those side comments are given the circumstances you are in. Well, I did understand what they also have to go through... I mean, what would you exactly say to a person who has cancer. right? and please believe me this is not getting back at anyone, no, no, no... I just want to just put it out there so you know how exactly those words comfort or hurt us.

So, let me start with the unbelievable, uncommon comment that I got from people which is "you must have been punished" and "it must be karma". I know. right? and I bet you too are cringing on your seat right now reading these words and I am very sorry that some people felt and believed it that way when I got sick. First of all, people.get.sick.because.of. scientific. reasons. and. not. karma. and nobody not even the person being sick is to be blame. That is just how nature rules. We get sick, we survive, we thrive, then we eventually die... and that is all of us... and I repeat, all of us has to go through the cycle of life one way or another. And it made me realized that people can be put into different circumstances not because of what we did or what we didn't do but its just because we are humans and that's all it is.

The second next weird thing is when some people actually tells you about other people who had cancer and didn't survive. And in as much as I wanted to appreciate the comparison, there is no comfort in there. For cancer patients mortality is not an issue anymore. We are basically there and rubbing it on our face doesn't help us at all unless you are helping us die quickly... and I am not joking. Occasional gossip is certainly welcome on our bedside but please don't talk about someone of our own kind who didn't make it... there is another time for that :)

The third one is actually funny. Well, believe it or not, there are just those people who recommends you to a "quack" and I know they meant well and I am not at all offended. Rather I find it very funny. And not only that, suddenly people have become an expert on cancer. I get flooded with suggestions to do and take this and that and was told to stay away from the doctors because they cause cancer. Hilarious. right? But I know there's  good intentions in there. And besides, laughter is a good medicine, so thanks for having it covered ;)

The forth one is when people tell you that "you look happy". So what do you expect...that I would be crying my eyes out and would be sad the whole time?  Well, I actually take this as a compliment. But remember that cancer patients cope in different ways. I may be smiling and bubbly in the outside but that doesn't mean I am not scared, sad, confused, and lonely. The thing is nobody really understands what you are going through. There was so much pain and uncertainty and brave isn't even the word to describe how we cope. An inspiration of courage, hope and faith? maybe... but we are just thriving to get through another painful chemo, the discomfort of radiation therapy, countless blood work and trying to glam up in spite of hair loss. So if you have nothing nice to say at all... a hug or a smile  will do because it is what we needed the most.

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