shannellee

Okay so I am back with another satirical random that life throws at you from time to time. Well, technically it is just about people who seemed to have no clue on what exactly others are going through and are just very, very, very generous with side comments that are not seemingly appropriate at all. And although it doesn't surprise me given that humans have all those extra ability, it is the fact of how unbecoming those side comments are given the circumstances you are in. Well, I did understand what they also have to go through... I mean, what would you exactly say to a person who has cancer. right? and please believe me this is not getting back at anyone, no, no, no... I just want to just put it out there so you know how exactly those words comfort or hurt us.

So, let me start with the unbelievable, uncommon comment that I got from people which is "you must have been punished" and "it must be karma". I know. right? and I bet you too are cringing on your seat right now reading these words and I am very sorry that some people felt and believed it that way when I got sick. First of all, people.get.sick.because.of. scientific. reasons. and. not. karma. and nobody not even the person being sick is to be blame. That is just how nature rules. We get sick, we survive, we thrive, then we eventually die... and that is all of us... and I repeat, all of us has to go through the cycle of life one way or another. And it made me realized that people can be put into different circumstances not because of what we did or what we didn't do but its just because we are humans and that's all it is.

The second next weird thing is when some people actually tells you about other people who had cancer and didn't survive. And in as much as I wanted to appreciate the comparison, there is no comfort in there. For cancer patients mortality is not an issue anymore. We are basically there and rubbing it on our face doesn't help us at all unless you are helping us die quickly... and I am not joking. Occasional gossip is certainly welcome on our bedside but please don't talk about someone of our own kind who didn't make it... there is another time for that :)

The third one is actually funny. Well, believe it or not, there are just those people who recommends you to a "quack" and I know they meant well and I am not at all offended. Rather I find it very funny. And not only that, suddenly people have become an expert on cancer. I get flooded with suggestions to do and take this and that and was told to stay away from the doctors because they cause cancer. Hilarious. right? But I know there's  good intentions in there. And besides, laughter is a good medicine, so thanks for having it covered ;)

The forth one is when people tell you that "you look happy". So what do you expect...that I would be crying my eyes out and would be sad the whole time?  Well, I actually take this as a compliment. But remember that cancer patients cope in different ways. I may be smiling and bubbly in the outside but that doesn't mean I am not scared, sad, confused, and lonely. The thing is nobody really understands what you are going through. There was so much pain and uncertainty and brave isn't even the word to describe how we cope. An inspiration of courage, hope and faith? maybe... but we are just thriving to get through another painful chemo, the discomfort of radiation therapy, countless blood work and trying to glam up in spite of hair loss. So if you have nothing nice to say at all... a hug or a smile  will do because it is what we needed the most.

Hey beaugorgeous!  it has been a very long hiatus for me but I am back to share with you my favorite organic, cruelty free beauty switch. As some of you may have known, I have been downsizing on my beauty routine and have been choosing  "health and animal friendly" product just so I get to control myself and avoid getting overwhelm and haul  tons and tons of product that I end up not using.

Well, its really part of the change I wanted to make, I thought that if I cut on my beauty routine and choose to use as less product as I can then I will have more time to spend on something else like reading, going for a walk, do some sports, bullet journal (a  new hobby I have been so crazy about) cook, and more. And yup, it would seemed like I am also downsizing on my blog updates as well, but life has become a slow pace for me for a while and I like that I can be as rush as I want or as chill  as I have always been most of the time.

Anyways, I have made a few changes with the products that I use. And I am happy that there's been a lot of companies that produce products that are cruelty free and organic or at least are less toxic. So here are my personal picks.

Yves Rocher Organic Oats Silky Lotion - Okay, so I am a 35 year old menopause, no shame about that lol! and it is important for me that I keep my skin smooth and healthy. I can skip all the makeup hulabaloos but lotion is a must... so you know... you get to maintain STILL that youthful glow. What I love about  it is that it claims to contain ph balance for the skin and is paraben free. I also love that it smells nice in a subtle way so you don't need to load on perfume. I've repurchase this product for a couple of times already and it also comes with three different variety.



Physicians Formula Organic Wear Tinted Moisturizer - with all honesty, I am not really crazy about this product. they claim that it is lightweight but I don't know for me it feels so heavy  and is super oily. Well, the fact that it is also humid where I am so a fair review might not be possible. However, if you are going for a light and non-coverage makeup (well it is a moisturizer so coverage is off the issue) then this one will work just fine. I do use this product... my go-to actually since I couldn't yet find a replacement that works better and is organic. Besides I needed to finish it to the bottom to finally get a new one (that is me working the minimalist ;)) However, what I like about it is that it contains natural ingredients and it nourishes your skin. It kind of work like a skin balm. And it does makes your skin feels soft after you wash it off.

Physicians Formula Organic Wear Mascara -  Well this one I got on the  spur of the moment... yes I still get spur of the moment every once in a while that habit you relapse to but a little controlled. And nope not the same beauty shop crazy woman who goes on a rampage with a mission to haul whatever is on the shelf... I got that one tamed ;) anyways, the thought that it is organic makes you think that at least what you put next to your eyes is not that harmful. I love it and totally batting my eyelash on this one.

Innisfree Auto Eyebrow Pencil - it is a brand from South Korean and it claims to be a natural-oriented product. They have tons of beauty products from skin care to makeup. But I did just picked the one that I needed (self control is the key) plus I was a little tight on cash so can't do anything more. The motto is, what is not in the list, can't go in the bag ;) So what I love about it is that their products claim to be made of natural ingredients. In fact it is South Korea's first all natural brand and I am excited that finally there is a whole lot of products I can chose from any time I needed it.

Hey guys, lately I have often been asked about my cancer diagnosis so today I decided to address it :) and hope that it will spread awareness about endometrial cancer.


It was "accidental" that we found out about it. I was complaining about back pains a lot and my abdomen area was a little bloated. I was also experiencing occasional bleeding, and spotting. All the symptoms seemed to appear I was pregnant, and since we have been trying for years, we thought that we might be finally pregnant. So we went to see my doctor. However, instead of a heartbeat, we found a big tumor inside my uterus. So we decided that I would right away undergo curettage, which was an outpatient procedure to remove the tumor and also to get a sample for biopsy.

The procedure went well, I woke up feeling disoriented in the recovery after 2 hours however after a few minutes I was already walking out of the recovery room ready to go home. I felt very well the first few hours since we arrived home. I was even up and moving around until when I started to feel the urge to pee and realized it was very difficult. I thought it was just side effect and will just go away after a few hours. But my bladder became so full and it was very uncomfortable. So I ended up at the emergency unit in the middle of the night and extended my stay in the hospital for three days. I had to be attached to a cath and had to take muscle relaxants.

Eventually I went home and was advised to wait for a week for the biopsy result of which I also spend going through PET scan, Chest Xray and countless blood tests. The result finally came back and I was positive with stage 3B Endometrial Cancer which means that the cancer had already spread to my ovaries. So my OBGYN sent me to an oncologist so we can weigh our options and our treatment plan. Finally we decided to remove my uterus, ovaries and cervix. And had to undergo 6 months of chemo therapy and 4 cycles of radiation/brachytherapy.

I was 34 years old when I was diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer. What was surprising was, my doctors thought that I was too young to be diagnosed with endometrial cancer since it is more common to occur to women after menopause or during the menopausal stage.

So I thought that writing about it would create an awareness that endometrial cancer can happen to younger women as well and it is very important that we  have ourselves check.

Hey guys! September's finally over and to be honest it felt like the month went by so fast. Well anyways, in my previous blog post (which I eventually deleted for some reasons) I talked about taking on a Shopping Ban  for the month of September and today I wanted to share my thoughts about it.


First of all, it was not really that hard for me because no. 1 if you don't have that much money you are kind of like forced to be frugal and simple in a way... right?  LOL but sometimes it is also where the problems start. If you're like me, so little funds ;) and you want everything on pinterest then that is hard to challenge yourself with.

Okay when I decided to take on the Minimalist Lifestyle,  I did what everybody in the minimalist community are doing, I started de-cluttering. And that was when I realized I have spend or I say waste all my hard earned money on stuffs that didn't really serve a purpose. For example the two bags of Daiso products that I accumulated over the years. I was really reluctant to let it go but I guess it is worth the lesson I have learned. I know its not that expensive  but sometimes we get so distracted with the little things that we don't even know we are wasting our time, effort and money on them. So I let go of my usual "daiso" run and focus on things that I really need.

Also the feeling of temporary euphoria is the hardest to break. The intense feeling of happiness and excitement of buying new things is so addicting. And I am not saying it is always bad. To be honest, I would always get that feeling every time I get out of a book store with a book or two. But I learned that it is how things affect your life and how enduring it is. So when you tend to forget about it in a week or two... then that is something you probably acquire in an impulse. I learned that of all the things you needed to have, what you do with them and how it makes you feel is the most important thing to consider. Marie Kondo would say "what sparks joy". Lesson learned, you don't always have to let go of everything nor deprived yourself. Think about how relevant it is in your life and hang on to it. I keep my books, its who I am and I don't have to feel bad about it ;) But with that, I also had to sacrifice and remind myself to avoid stuffs that aren't relevant anymore. Now, I am more mindful of the things I wanted to acquire and how I want my life to be influenced by it.