They said that "contentment and contentment alone is the only thing that truly brings you joy in life." So why is it that we spend almost a lifetime grasping for more things, more of everything and yet we never realized that the joy we are after can only by quench with loving what we already have. And if we haven't noticed already, we are being plagued with people "influencers" who constantly reminds us that all the things we don't have are a must have that these are things we need to pursue... life or death. I did pursue so much of everything and don't get me wrong, there was nothing... is nothing absolutely wrong with it except that (for a while) ... it didn't spark joy anymore. So, I stopped creating, I stopped inventing myself, I stopped aspiring for what used to make me happy because it doesn't add up to anything but discontentment. Well, materialism does and everybody already made their point but there was something missing.
So for the longest time, this blog came to a halt. I lost my way. I was torn between carrying on what I have started or take a complete change from what I used to believe in. So while I searched far and wide looking for that bit of spark, I came across countless opinions of what one should do to make oneself happy i.e. do what makes you happy even if it means leaving your job, travel the world, volunteer, declutter and throw/donate your stuff away (which I did-best feeling ever), live in the mountains, plant trees, make your own food, stop eating dead animals (which I did but doesn't really make you better than anyone else), live small, live a simple life, be content. But you know what's wrong with all these? All these are telling you to live someone else's life. To quit living for yourself, to give up what you already are and pursue someone else's spark. And pursuing another's joy is definitely one that will kill your fire.
So finally I came to a resolution that there is no quick way of finding a perfect life (if life is indeed perfect at all), that every day is a constant battle and the choice is yours, you can beat yourself or breathe, but you can't simply walk out of your life to go after a catchphrase and if you ever do, it's not going to be easy. You don't have to deny yourself of the little things that truly make you happy just because someone else says they can or you can't ( Eat that cake for cat's sake!). You don't have to quit living your life and beat yourself up chasing someone else's life just because they seemed happy. You will eventually get there you'll see, you just have to trust that you are capable of being happy yourself and that you can stop explaining yourself for the choices you make. You can't always ride the donkey, Can you? so stop being guilty of not pleasing your crowd because you can't and you don't have to.
Life will never be simple. There's only one truth in the universe and that is we will never be content. We will always want something more because that is the only way we survive because we will always be slaves to the complexities of life. So we embrace it. Cliche but life is not a perfect 10! be selfish, be happy, be sad, be angry, laugh, cry, and aspire because sometimes all that matters is that we hold on strongly to the reason why we keep living, to want something more. In the end, there are no '10 ways' to live your life but there are only a million intricate ways to endure it. Yes, we may stop acquiring but we can never stop aspiring.
Till next time,
Shannel
